Snake dreams

When I was about 4, I began having extremely vivid dreams. They weren’t the type of dreams you just wake up from, I felt I was in a different realm as my parents, as they had no idea what I was talking about or seeing.

Let me start by saying I have always had issues with sleeping and life in general. I remember feeling similar as I do now when I was a child, and asking my mom what the point of life was. It honestly seemed a little mundane and fruitless to me as a four year old. She gave the general basic answer a parent would be expected to give a child, to love, to have a family, to enjoy life. You solved it lady.

I began having sleeping issues when I was around 3. So many memories have faded throughout the years but those early years in my childhood bedroom remain extremely clear and vivid, despite happening 30 years ago. Practically every night I would sit and stare off into the abyss of my room, the ceiling, the floor sometimes for hours. Things would eventually start to morph as I entered a sort of trance like mind frame. And then I saw them, they appeared almost instantly and would not go away.  Piles and piles of snakes covering my bedroom floor.

Obviously as a child, and even as an adult this would be frightening. I remember staring at them, almost studying them for a while, while freaked out on my island bed. Eventually, I decided I needed to make a break for it and ran the 20 feet to my parents bedroom (across said “imaginary” snake pile). They were super  excited to see me lol, but this is where it gets so weird.

We immediately flipped the lights on in their bedroom and the snakes on the floor vanished. When they turned the lights off they reappeared and my mom still says to this day I was smacking the bed trying to get them off. My parents saw nothing. We walk back to my room across the hall and proceed to do the same thing, lights on, no snakes, lights off, snakes everywhere. I have been awake for 5-10 minutes at this point, having full on conversations with my parents. I remember all of it still.

Eventually they convinced me it was in my head and to go back to sleep, but I don’t think it was looking back. I was taken to doctors and they suggested it might be night terrors, not go in the hot spa right before bed, underwater, blah blah. I never got a definite answer as to why I saw this after being awake for so long and my parents saw nothing. There is nothing like the realization of you seeing something in clear mind that seems so crazy that nobody else sees. Looking back now I feel it is more likely to have to do with sleep paralysis and accessing another dimension, as being in a wakeful sleep is how it’s done.

I do not sit and stare into the abyss like I used to as that time honestly freaked me out. I looked for ways to block things out but now I am starting to think I need to let them in and be who I am meant to be. I don’t think we have a clue what and who we are in this world, or what we as “human beings” are capable of.